1st Birthday

On April 6th, we celebrated Lily's birthday with a big party and lots of friends and family. All of Lily's cousins were there to help her have fun.

No, she's not bleeding. The cake had a layer of strawberry goo in it. Turns out it looks a lot like a bloody mess when a baby smears it on her face.

Lily gets hooped-up on a sugar high from her very first drink of punch. That glass was full when she started....okay, not really.

Lily's distracted by a balloon while her cousins Abby and T.J. check out some rocking toys from the church nursery.

Not only does Lily remain transfixed by the awesomeness of the balloon, but now she's recruited cousins T.J. and Wesley into her little cult.

There are few people as accomplished at lounging and shooting the bull as Lily's uncles. They're pros. Pros who whined for goodie bags of their own when they found out hacky sacks were inside for the kids.

Looks like everyone's having a jammin time! Hey, check out the decor...very nice!

I finally get ahold of my little rug rat.

Check out Lily's haul!

Lily had sooooooooo much fun at her party. It was so much fun to get to play with all the cousins and have the attention of all her aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends. She was tuckered out for a couple days afterwards. It was even difficult to stay awake for dinner that night.

It happens every night around eight o'clock. Lily has finished her dinner. She's been cleaned up and has slurped every last drop from an 8 ounce bottle of milk while I've changed her diaper and have managed to wrangle chubby arms and legs into uncooperative pajamas. Then I pick her up, plop my tired body into the rocking chair and wait for that divine moment.

Most nights she fights it. Quite literally. She bangs on my chest, pulls my hair, sheds tears of frustration, anything to distance herself from the ever approaching quiet of sleep. Every few nights she succombs peacefully though. Finishing the last dregs of her bottle she thrusts it away and plops her tender head against my chest, slowly closing her eyes as I sing lullabyes and prayers softly in the dark.

I feel the heaviness of her sleeping body in my arms, and her warmth as she lays on me. That's the divine moment when I feel the absolute love of God wash over me and I say to myself, This is what His love towards us feels like. This nightly ritual reminds me that I am the child resting in my Father's arms. And though I rage and fight against Him, though I sometimes beat Him with my fists and cry bitter tears, I can't help but finally succomb to His all-encompassing love. And in the bosom of the God most high I rest my head and am washed in his love as He holds onto me.